Getting Behind to Get Ahead

"I'm so far behind!" 

That's how I've felt for, oh, some time now. What used to be so easy for me to accomplish now seems to be so difficult to stay caught up on. I've always been able to handle lots of varied tasks simultaneously, almost without thinking about it. Staying ahead of schedule and keeping organized while doing it has just been the way I do things. Not right or wrong, not even intentional, this has just  been the way I work.

So why, recently, do I find myself apologizing for not being efficient, or not accomplishing all I'd written on my infernal list? Frankly, I don't think anyone but me notices or cares that I'm "behind", yet I find myself saying, "I'm sorry" more often than is warranted.

And then this morning as I sat in church, waiting for the worship to start, I realized: I might actually be getting ahead! In the past I was raising a family and caring for a husband who worked long, hard hours as a construction worker. Now the children are grown and moved out, and Jim's job is not physically demanding, so much of what once seemed of utmost importance, now is unnecessary. Or at least doesn't deserve the amount of time and energy it once demanded of me. A new depth of realization - and freedom -  came to me that in this season, I'm doing just what I need to be doing, so don't need to feel guilty for not doing what I have in the past. This may sound like such a simple thing that it's not worth writing about --- but something tells me I'm not the only one feeling this way.

For me, it lines up something like this:

I have not: Kept up with dish washing so the kitchen is spotless, but

I have: Spent lots of time worshipping, with clean hands and a pure heart before Him.

I have not: Ironed Jim's shirts for work this week, but

I have: Straightened out some mindsets I'd adopted that weren't in line with His Word.

I have not: Done well with posting on facebook, writing thank-you notes or blogging, or phone calls, but

I have: Invested hours communicating with God in prayer and intercession, capturing God's heart for my family, my ministry, my call to the nations.

I have not: Kept up with daily exercise, falling behind nearly half the time, but

I have: Strengthened my faith through God's Word and fellowship with His people.

I think you get the idea. Those things that once were so important to me now fade in comparison to what He has called me to concentrate on at this time, and that's a good thing. I don't want to live in yesterday's reality or goals, but press on to the high calling He is calling me toward, today.

No more apologies! Not even to myself. 

If you are in a similar place in your journey, let me encourage you: When someone stops by your home or your workstation or your place of business, they won't know or care if your 'to-do list' is up-to-date, and they won't care. What will matter is that you've been spending time with the Father, being fed in His Presence. 

When we transition into this reality, the hungry will come to us and go away fed, having encountered the Bread of Life we've been feeding on, ourselves.

You know? As we allow old patterns and ways of doing what we've always done to fade away and we embrace the freshness of His 'now' Word,  I think we might just be ahead of the game...